A Thought for You and Reminder to Myself

by

God’s will, I have found, is not based on feelings or knowledge just descending to our minds. No lightbulb moments. It’s a process. God opens doors and closes others. He nudges and makes the path ever clearer, literally and spiritually, with continued prayer. Doubts do not affect this. And God’s will does not change, nor does He make mistakes. If God brought you to something, He won’t just say, “Oh, never mind. This didn’t work out as smoothly as I said it would. My will is something else now.” He carries through – and carries you through. And of course, His will brings the best, most joyful, fulfilling results.

So stay committed to your purpose, mission, task, life – wherever God has you right now. His plan cannot fail.

To Christian School Students: The Thing About College

by

I just want to let the students back at my Christian high school (and any student graduating from a Christian institution) what it’s like going from a blessed, beautiful Christian education to a Christ-less school.

In short, it’s not what you think.

I know what you’re expecting and that you’re longing for it. I know to some of you, Christian education feels too small and intrusive. It’s not “real” education. And besides, if you want to be a real, active Christian, you should be out in public schools, right?

You’re longing for that “freedom” that comes with a Christ-less education. It will be open, loose. Less rules will bind you.

For me, I was looking forward to wider horizons and chances for my faith to be tested. I got it, but it wasn’t what I expected.

In Christian schools, it’s easier to stay “good”. The opportunities to stray are not as easy to come by. You have to look, and be sneaky, because if you’re caught, you will be disciplined. Not to mention word will travel fast to the rest of the school and your parents, who are paying good money to send you to this school. So choosing a bad path is not that easy and not even tempting, because it’s just not always there.

But when you’re high school and college age, the rebellious attitude feels built in sometimes, especially if your faith isn’t strong.

So when you enter a college where you’re surrounded by non-Christians, you’ve got the space to let the rebellion burst free. Temptation is readily available for indulgence. But you’re using this opportunity to witness, right?

For me, since I simply had no desire to become close to anyone who would lead me into temptation, and because I don’t live in a dorm and only have class 3 days a week, it wasn’t that bad. But I felt the change in other ways. I made myself available to those around me for discussion about my faith. I was open about it from the start, excited to share. I made some friends. People found me approachable, I guess, and I felt good. I didn’t have any close, true friends, and that made it very hard for me because I battled loneliness. But I had a mission, a purpose – to show the world my Savior – and that kept me strong. However, I noticed my attitude becoming like those I surrounded myself with, even like those I didn’t talk to. I just was surrounded by negative conversation. Complaining, cynicism, cussing, hatred, tolerance of sin. I’m already enough of a pessimist, and this just brought me further into that bad attitude. I was soon complaining alongside them, encouraging it even, and just being all-around negative. Although they never left my lips, cuss words more easily, naturally slipped through my thoughts when I became frustrated. This all circled back to disappointment in myself for letting myself become this way, and that disappointment began the negativity all over again.

For you, it might be different. It was easier to say no to drinking, drugs, sex, and more in the sheltered Christian school. You had boundaries enforced for you, however much you hated them. But when you enter college, will you have an easier time giving in?

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (I Peter 5:8.)

Then another trial came. My mission was being taken from me and the loneliness brought to a deeper level. Seeing that I wasn’t about to be quiet about my faith and that I would not give into sin without a fight, I was attacked from another angle. Those that I considered my “friends” in college – those I’d talk with and sit by and even enjoy company with – began to distance themselves. I don’t remember doing anything to trigger this.

I tried to be the best friend I could be, and I wasn’t fake with them, either. I was real and open about how I was feeling when they asked. I wouldn’t give forth a false “joy” because that’s expected of a Christian. When I was hurting and they asked if I was okay, I’d be honest and tell them I wasn’t. When I did have joy, I’d share it. Long story short, I was, well, real. And I genuinely enjoyed having their company and getting to know them.

But they became quiet. I began to be ignored and pushed away. I was alone before, but now?

See? I could hear the Devil whispering. You’re not worth their time. You’re just too unlikeable. Maybe it’s your looks or what you wear. Or maybe it’s your enthusiasm for what you’re learning. Maybe it’s just you – you’ve never really fit in. Who knows, it could be everything. Whatever it is, you don’t have any more friends. Your true friends aren’t available for you to spend time with. Your new friendships here are dying. You’re struggling to keep your faith strong, so God can’t be near. And now, you can’t witness to those people. What’s your purpose?

You are very much alone.

Now, here is what I want to say to you. Moving on to college, Christian or not, opens up two paths: the path God calls you to follow, or the path of “freedom” and sin. However much you may dislike being “trapped” in a Christian school now, please, please, realize the gift it is. And take full advantage of it. Strengthen your faith during this time. Make it solid enough to withstand the changes that are coming. Learn that Christ is enough, that He is true joy and His way is best.

I pray you don’t choose the path that leaves Christ. If you do, it isn’t easy to come back out, and you won’t want to. It is easy to reject holiness when immersed in a sinful life. But you will not have joy.

“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” (Proverbs 16:25)

If you choose the path of Christ, prepare yourself for rejection, especially at a non-Christian college. But know it’s worth it. You’ll be rewarded. You will live a full, joyful, meaningful life. I don’t know how else to say it, but the eternal rewards are worth so much more than the temporary, self-destructive, earthly pleasures. Follow the way of the God who invented true pleasure, deeper than any person or thing can provide.

“[Jesus said,] ‘If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember what I told you: “A servant is not greater than his master.” If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me. If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin. Whoever hates me hates my Father as well. If I had not done among them the works no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. As it is, they have seen, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: “They hated me without reason.”‘” (John 15:18-24.)

No matter what, no matter how you feel or what you’re told, you’re never, ever alone.

Actively strengthen your faith and prepare. Choose God. Expect rejection, but rejoice, for God will give you joy and peace that doesn’t make sense when looking at what you are going through (“peace that passes understanding”).

And best of all, He will be waiting with eternal rewards and His perfect, incredible love. “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” Amen.

“…the Present is all lit up with eternal rays.”

by

“The Future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity. It is the most temporal part of time – for the Past is frozen and no longer flows, and the Present is all lit up with eternal rays.”

- C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

Hello again! It’s been a while since I’ve written anything! Funny thing is, I have four drafts sitting, finished, waiting to be published. They’re kind of old, but I think soon I’ll bust them out. A Throwback Thursday kind of deal. Wouldn’t that be fun?

Don’t worry, I know I’m not cool.

*Awkward cough.

Aaaanyways. Let’s get started.

Recently, in reflecting on where I am spiritually, I realized I lost a lot of the faith of my youth. I talk about that more in one of my posts that I wrote a while back and have yet to publish. Simply, the faith of the child, the fearless willingness to serve that I once had, had started to fade with age. As my life began to come together, I took too much comfort in the plans that were becoming reality and forgot about preparing for the home that was coming. And that search for fulfillment in plans and other earthly things caused me a lot of pain in addition to struggles I was already experiencing in my transition to adulthood.

Believe me, I certainly longed for my true home in this time of struggle. I looked forward to leaving this broken world for heaven and a perfect eternity with my Savior. That promise did bring me joy.

But although I wanted it for the right reasons, I also wanted it for the wrong ones.

I wanted the easy way out. I lost all hope in this life. The good part seemed to be over; I gave up on it getting better and wanted to go to my true home simply because I was tired.

Enough was enough.

Yet somehow, even though I longed to leave it, I clung to the world.

It was a strange irony that I realized when recently reminded of the end times and the persecution that is coming. I became scared. Not because of the pain and suffering that was to come, but because of what I would lose if the persecution were to begin now. Even though I wanted to escape this life, I had selfish, earthly thoughts.

“But my future. My plans. My career. The wedding I’ve dreamed of. The children I want to have. I’ve been looking forward to this for the past few years like never before. I don’t want that gone. Not yet. Let me just make it through those things first.”

Then I realized – in my youth, I had a completely different outlook on this. That younger me, the freer me, saw things in another light.

“Bring it on. I’m excited. I’m ready to lose it all.”

I shook my head. Where had that gone? I had taken a couple steps forward as I grew, certainly. But in other areas, I took several steps back. As more meaningful things in life appeared that I could possibly lose, as my future began to build, I started to depend on that plan instead of the possibility that God’s plan might be different. I was trapped in the bliss of the past and the promise of the future. I held onto my life’s plan instead of staying in the present and being ready to let go at any moment God may choose.

Have you done this? As milestones in your life approach, do you rely on them being there instead of saying, “If it is God’s will, I’ll have the privilege to live and see this day”? James directly addresses this in chapter 4: “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’”

Each day that passes brings new memories to look back on and new promises for tomorrow. Your life continues to build and unfold to what God intends it to be, if you’re following Him. But He never intended those blessings to be the things you set your heart on. Nor did He intend the struggles to cause a hopelessness in life. They were both made to refine you and bring you closer to Him.

Because the past is over and there may not be a tomorrow. There is a today.

So I’m going stir that passion. I’m going to feed that fire inside by spending time with my King. I’m going to long for and rejoice in the home that is promised to me, and at the same time I’m going to take joy in each moment of the life I’ve been given on this earth. I’ll no longer depend on my future, for that will never be in stone. Nothing satisfies and nothing lasts but God. So I’m going to depend on Him alone for lasting happiness and attribute all joys on earth to Him, for they are from Him.

And I’ll be ready to surrender it all.

A Different Political Rant

by

After months of ads, phone calls, and internet updates, the elections are finally over. Some people are thrilled and feeling hopeful about the results, while others are either disappointed, fearful, and sad or standing strong despite their loss. If you know me, you probably know which “side” I’m on. Eventually, just like the ads, phone calls, and internet updates, the emotional high will wear down until four years from now, when it all begins again.

I am dreading four years from now, and it has nothing to do with politics. I can’t stand politics. (This isn’t anything new to some of you.) The reason I despise politics is because of what it does to people.

Suddenly, almost everyone has a portable soap box that they carry with them wherever they go, ready to set it up, step up on it, and start talking about their opinions. They put it up in classrooms, on Facebook and Twitter, over the lunch meal with family and friends. Democrat or Republican. Man or woman. Voting age or not. Some people may be deserving of this box, but then there are the Christians who never say much about their faith and are suddenly faithful preachers. There are those who never investigate politics that overnight become politicians. Friends become enemies. Love becomes just a word as arguments spew and/or obsession over the race takes time away. Instead of loving the person next to them by talking with them or simply spending time with them, they either have their eyes glued to the latest debates/results or are arguing their standpoint. They don’t realize that the results will be there tomorrow, but those moments won’t be.

Passionless people become passionate, ready to share their opinion, when the truth is the people they’re directing it towards are about as likely to change their mind as the candidate himself is. It is like a sports game. The two sides are cheering with everything they have for the other side. Ignoring their own team’s faults and mistakes, they shout words of hate and promises of defeat to the opposing side. How likely is it that any person is going to say, “My team really isn’t the best team to be supporting here,” and walk across the battlefield to the other side? No amount of convincing, on or off the field, is going to change that person’s loyalty to their team, and any “discussion” just goes in circles. The independents are rare, but almost never do you see the discussions happening with them, where it makes sense.

After the election is over, the heat finally begins to cool down, but many Christians are not placing their hope where they should. With a God that is all-powerful, all-good, and all-wise, how is it possible that any of us that claim to follow Him are angry or have despair? Or, on the other end, how is it that any have pride or hope in the future because of a candidate? God has directed every small event, and in the span of all eternity, this election is small. Remember that God created the world? That Jesus came, died, and rose again as the King of all? That He went to Heaven and promises to return? So why does anyone have anger towards the election of a country, or that they are putting their pride and hope in a fallible human? Do they not believe that God has a plan and that He is above any earthly ruler? “And Jesus came and said to them, ‘All authority in Heaven and on earth has been given to me…’” (Matthew 28:18)

I’m not saying I haven’t done anything in this post. Even this morning, when I woke up and saw the results, I dwelled on thoughts and emotions I shouldn’t have. I’m not going to say who I voted for for the sake of making a point here, because it doesn’t matter. Either side can have error in their reactions. And it makes me so sad and angry that something earthly like politics makes people act in these ways. “Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator to the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable.” (Isaiah 40:28)

Because of all this, I’m relieved that it is all coming to an end. I hope that no one destroyed friendships or nurtured anger towards even their opposing candidate. I hope that the Christian passion some revived during this time was genuine and lasts, affecting more than their stand on election day. I hope that four years from now, we all take a different stand altogether: that God is King, that our vote does matter to Him and we should carefully consider what we do with that privilege, but in the end, God’s will will be done.

I Timothy 2:1-2
First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.

Philippians 3:20
But our citizenship is in Heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ…